Well, this is a form of heartbreak
I didnt understand
losing a friend before
I ever met them
I know I'm skilled at losing friends
look at how many
But this is a new level
of alienation
Go read their words, and try to keep
your heart unshredded
I can't
All I can do is wish I had
one tenth their brilliance
and wish I'd had the chance
to be their friend
https://substack.com/@andreagibson
Sitting at an outside table
Listening to multiple chords
Of posturing
I just think, People
What a mistake that was
Next time I'll stop
With the bright and brilliant
Parrots on branches
It's been a weird night
I was walking down a side street in Ybor City, when this muscle car pulls up beside me in a hurry, and some guy leans across, screams out the bedroom window,
"Come with me if you want to live!!"
I thought about it a moment and said, 'What if I dont?", because ofc
He looked confused, and then called me by my deadname, crying out again "Come with me", so I grunted back 'Fuck off asshole", then a motorcylce screamed around the corner and the guy drove off.
The motorcycle screeched to a halt beside me, and then this asshole said,
"Sarah Connor?"
So I snarled "No! Fuck off! She's dead, you dick, she's been dead for years. I'm Stan Connor"
He looked puzzled, then rode off after the first guy.
Dunno what that was all about, not my worry..
Time flies when you're having nightmares
like a dying bird smashed against a window,
smearing down it,
eye rolling,
seeing strange
and alien shapes,
ideas unimaginable,
on the other side of
that pane
of consciousness
Time trickles down the glass,
sticky sweet stolen blood
oozing out of you
stealing away your warmth,
stinking rotten copper
in a cloud around you
Time falls.
Yeah, ALL the fun
Sitting there, calmly, I hear a distant noise, just enough to rise above the constant surf sussuration in my ears. A mechanical clack, electronic hissing .. the sound of an old fashioned modem synching into a network, maybe? I freeze, hold my breath, trying to hear more, a direction, a sense of distance
Nothing
Now I realise, I froze. Not stopped moving, I'm damn frozen. I strain to move my right thumb at least, and strain again, but not a muscle tics.I try to release my breath, and that doesnt happen either
Damn, and damned
All the days that have marched past,
ground their heels into my heart
and laid waste to my guts,
make me stare and remember
all the fine ideas and gossamer moments
drifting on my fingertips
Moments I should have seized
Madness I turned away from
just ashes in my mouth. Oh, no
actually that's Coke.
Every time I reach my hand out, it drags a thousand shadows behind and before it.
Each action is undone as I do it. I can see my future behind me, and look forward to my past. Is there no way out of this?
Who is the sacrifice, this time? How many many times ? Is there no escape, again?
Breathe
Breathe
Accept what is and is not
Here is Time, a fractured toy stamped into the floor, pieces sprayed away. Stamped means a foot, that stamps. Who stamps, again, who breaks Time. Let's find out.
She stops, opens her eyes, looks up out of the page at the author and shakes her head. 'Dont be an idiot, it's the same one it always is, I know that much already'.
