Your love wasn't red or white
it turned out to be
black and blue
Pull me push me keep me off balance
that hides the darkness
behind your smile
and the rage you always aim
away from the woman who
earned it most
Even your weakness
is a weapon
to keep me under your
foot
love is possesion
and no more
in your heart
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Tuesday, August 21, 2018
Home again
Val picked at the splinter sticking out of the bench beside her, then kicked the bulwark. 'Oh come on come on come on' she said, yet again.
'Well go and see if you can see the Gate yet', her mother said
She leapt up, and raced up the steep stairs, out onto the deck. Over the rail, the sea was smooth and dark, swelling with understated power, and she nodded at it in satisfaction. Ahead, she could see the Gate, looming up ahead of the prow, growing rapidly, and the deck was full of a flurry of seamen doing things with ropes and shouting.
She let out a crow of satisfaction, jumped back and swung on the fools bar, trying a backflip down the stairs and almost landing on a scuttling steward with his tray of empty mugs.
'Oh sorry Spiro, I got excited'
He smiled back over a shoulder as he rushed to the galley
'We're nearly there, now, mom'
'Thank you, dear, and next time without barging into the crew, alright?'
Abruptly everything seemed to turn two-dimensional, and her sister loomed up outlined in glowing gold, flat and wide and tall. She turned her head and the whole boat seemed to be nothing more than a vivid painting - and then it passed, and everything filled out again.
'Never twice the same, just like you said, mom'
Bel laughed and said, 'Maybe it'll be the same next time. Never saw you so fat before, Val'
Val bounced on her feet for a moment and raced up the stair again, dancing up the edges of the treads. There, spread before her now, was the Great Canal, the Keep looming ahead with its familiar dark bulk, Draco atop his Tavern to the right, and the usual bustling, barging crowd from everywhere, surging around the wharves, shops and go-downs, shouting, gesturing, pulling mules and oxen and horses everywhere.
* * *
She took Bel by the hand and led her down the gangplank, following their mother's twitching pink tail.
'Can we go see Auntie O, mum, please? You don't need us for the baggage here, do you?'
Her mother smiled her second -best smile and said, 'Surely not, off you go. And give her a kiss from me, I'll come see here soon as I can', then her mother swung around to survey the quay, spotting a pair of hulking carriers to hire for the luggage.
The girls took off at a run, sliding between the plodding ox-wagons, darting around a marching squad of soldiers in full armour, eeling in amongst some dithering wanderers in half-ragged robes. Bel slid under a knight sitting ahorse, apparently lost in looking at a map, so Val sprang over its' hindquarters - and almost landed atop an enterprising rogue on the other side, with his hand in the saddlebag.
Panting, she chased Bel hard but couldn't catch her before they ran up to the sallyport.
'Ha, your turn to carry the laundry down tonight' cried Bel, sticking out a tongue.
'Oh poo. Well never mind, look, Gerard finished getting all the parallel bars put in at last' and she gestured at the near wall of the massive fortress, where a whole series of iron bars, roughened for grip, wove back and forth up the wall, reaching at least a hundred feet up it.
'Last one up has to do all the unpacking', Bel called, and both of them stretched, changed, bones lengthening, nails turning to claws, hair sprouting on arms and legs. Then they both leapt up, grabbed a bar, and started jumping up and up, to the next and the next. Val was the first to reach their window, and swung in, panting heavily: she collapsed onto a chair and started changing back to a more girlish shape, grunting in discomfort repeatedly.
* * *
Val strode past the three desultory groups queuing, and knocked on the scarred, battered ironwood door - when it opened, she stopped a moment, looking at the young man it revealed, then hugged him. 'Berold, he got you that new body, how lovely! It must feel so nice not to be bent and creaky'
'Lathander knows, it surely is, lass. Look, I can even jump in the air and bend to touch my toes', he exclaimed, actions suited to words.
'Is she free? can I go in and see her?'
'She is, She knew you'd be here now, She's having a good day' and Berold wiggled his eyebrows at Val with a wide wide grin.
Val blushed dark against her pale skin.
'In you go, and dont be upsetting Her. There's people waitin' for you to be done, and we have plans for tonight'.
Val walked carefully through the over-packed room, avoiding the tottering piles of books, glancing over all the dusty knickknacks and treasures dumped on shelves, brushing aside a set of elaborate carpets hanging from a beam, then opening the glass-paned door.
'Auntie O, we made it back!'
She looked over her aunt, looking for changes, but all was the same - the faded pink skin, the brushcut hair silver shining, the eyepatch, the flecks of black ichor dotting the cheek under that patch, the fragile limbs, the body bent and crooked; and dressed in her best navy dress, sprinkled with silver tracery tentacles and groups of golden circles.
Her aunt extended her arms, not rising and Val bent into the embrace, kissing her cheek.
'Wellll, tell me about your trip, lovie, was it as splendid as I foresaw? Were you enthralled?'
Val settled on the floor at her aunt's feet, and started babbling happily, in a breathless flow
'Oh yes yes yes, it was beautiful beyond words, we got to see the Golden City, and sail across the Horn, and all those plains so flat and huge and neverending and all the dashing Khazaks, they did those funny beautiful dances for us by firelight and I traded my copper bangle for a beautiful purple silk scarf for you oh Lolth I forgot to bring it nevermind I'll drop it off later and the big city up north was wonderful skating on the frozen canals and this Rus boy with the most golden hair I ever saw kept flirting at me and asking a kiss til I said he had to talk to Miela first and he saw the horns and tail and got all faint and gosh boys are funny everywhere'
Her aunt laughed, her face relaxing from the endless taut mask of expectation for once. 'Yes, lovie, they're funny alright, even Berold is still funny after fifty years. Did you like Terrac, too?'
'Ohhh it was so strange and bright and tall and loud, noone said it'd be so loud. But mum took us to see the moving pictures on the stage, and that was even more beautiful than watching actors at Body & Soul, all the far foreign places, and we saw this tragedy about robots like men and a man like a robot hunting them, only they were all men, well and women, in a place where it always rained and huge boats levitated in the sky. I cried and cried at the end'
'Well, I'm glad you were so thrilled with it all, lovie. And I know you remember, I've found you a tutor for you, the finest of swordsmen and the bravest of hearts; he'll be ready to talk to you tomorrow, and you must impress him.
I've foreseen him teaching you, but you know I sometimes see the wrong now, so be your best and bravest for him. Ah yes, and I haven't told him you shapeshift, so you can surprise him with that when you need'.
'Well go and see if you can see the Gate yet', her mother said
She leapt up, and raced up the steep stairs, out onto the deck. Over the rail, the sea was smooth and dark, swelling with understated power, and she nodded at it in satisfaction. Ahead, she could see the Gate, looming up ahead of the prow, growing rapidly, and the deck was full of a flurry of seamen doing things with ropes and shouting.
She let out a crow of satisfaction, jumped back and swung on the fools bar, trying a backflip down the stairs and almost landing on a scuttling steward with his tray of empty mugs.
'Oh sorry Spiro, I got excited'
He smiled back over a shoulder as he rushed to the galley
'We're nearly there, now, mom'
'Thank you, dear, and next time without barging into the crew, alright?'
Abruptly everything seemed to turn two-dimensional, and her sister loomed up outlined in glowing gold, flat and wide and tall. She turned her head and the whole boat seemed to be nothing more than a vivid painting - and then it passed, and everything filled out again.
'Never twice the same, just like you said, mom'
Bel laughed and said, 'Maybe it'll be the same next time. Never saw you so fat before, Val'
Val bounced on her feet for a moment and raced up the stair again, dancing up the edges of the treads. There, spread before her now, was the Great Canal, the Keep looming ahead with its familiar dark bulk, Draco atop his Tavern to the right, and the usual bustling, barging crowd from everywhere, surging around the wharves, shops and go-downs, shouting, gesturing, pulling mules and oxen and horses everywhere.
* * *
She took Bel by the hand and led her down the gangplank, following their mother's twitching pink tail.
'Can we go see Auntie O, mum, please? You don't need us for the baggage here, do you?'
Her mother smiled her second -best smile and said, 'Surely not, off you go. And give her a kiss from me, I'll come see here soon as I can', then her mother swung around to survey the quay, spotting a pair of hulking carriers to hire for the luggage.
The girls took off at a run, sliding between the plodding ox-wagons, darting around a marching squad of soldiers in full armour, eeling in amongst some dithering wanderers in half-ragged robes. Bel slid under a knight sitting ahorse, apparently lost in looking at a map, so Val sprang over its' hindquarters - and almost landed atop an enterprising rogue on the other side, with his hand in the saddlebag.
Panting, she chased Bel hard but couldn't catch her before they ran up to the sallyport.
'Ha, your turn to carry the laundry down tonight' cried Bel, sticking out a tongue.
'Oh poo. Well never mind, look, Gerard finished getting all the parallel bars put in at last' and she gestured at the near wall of the massive fortress, where a whole series of iron bars, roughened for grip, wove back and forth up the wall, reaching at least a hundred feet up it.
'Last one up has to do all the unpacking', Bel called, and both of them stretched, changed, bones lengthening, nails turning to claws, hair sprouting on arms and legs. Then they both leapt up, grabbed a bar, and started jumping up and up, to the next and the next. Val was the first to reach their window, and swung in, panting heavily: she collapsed onto a chair and started changing back to a more girlish shape, grunting in discomfort repeatedly.
* * *
Val strode past the three desultory groups queuing, and knocked on the scarred, battered ironwood door - when it opened, she stopped a moment, looking at the young man it revealed, then hugged him. 'Berold, he got you that new body, how lovely! It must feel so nice not to be bent and creaky'
'Lathander knows, it surely is, lass. Look, I can even jump in the air and bend to touch my toes', he exclaimed, actions suited to words.
'Is she free? can I go in and see her?'
'She is, She knew you'd be here now, She's having a good day' and Berold wiggled his eyebrows at Val with a wide wide grin.
Val blushed dark against her pale skin.
'In you go, and dont be upsetting Her. There's people waitin' for you to be done, and we have plans for tonight'.
Val walked carefully through the over-packed room, avoiding the tottering piles of books, glancing over all the dusty knickknacks and treasures dumped on shelves, brushing aside a set of elaborate carpets hanging from a beam, then opening the glass-paned door.
'Auntie O, we made it back!'
She looked over her aunt, looking for changes, but all was the same - the faded pink skin, the brushcut hair silver shining, the eyepatch, the flecks of black ichor dotting the cheek under that patch, the fragile limbs, the body bent and crooked; and dressed in her best navy dress, sprinkled with silver tracery tentacles and groups of golden circles.
Her aunt extended her arms, not rising and Val bent into the embrace, kissing her cheek.
'Wellll, tell me about your trip, lovie, was it as splendid as I foresaw? Were you enthralled?'
Val settled on the floor at her aunt's feet, and started babbling happily, in a breathless flow
'Oh yes yes yes, it was beautiful beyond words, we got to see the Golden City, and sail across the Horn, and all those plains so flat and huge and neverending and all the dashing Khazaks, they did those funny beautiful dances for us by firelight and I traded my copper bangle for a beautiful purple silk scarf for you oh Lolth I forgot to bring it nevermind I'll drop it off later and the big city up north was wonderful skating on the frozen canals and this Rus boy with the most golden hair I ever saw kept flirting at me and asking a kiss til I said he had to talk to Miela first and he saw the horns and tail and got all faint and gosh boys are funny everywhere'
Her aunt laughed, her face relaxing from the endless taut mask of expectation for once. 'Yes, lovie, they're funny alright, even Berold is still funny after fifty years. Did you like Terrac, too?'
'Ohhh it was so strange and bright and tall and loud, noone said it'd be so loud. But mum took us to see the moving pictures on the stage, and that was even more beautiful than watching actors at Body & Soul, all the far foreign places, and we saw this tragedy about robots like men and a man like a robot hunting them, only they were all men, well and women, in a place where it always rained and huge boats levitated in the sky. I cried and cried at the end'
'Well, I'm glad you were so thrilled with it all, lovie. And I know you remember, I've found you a tutor for you, the finest of swordsmen and the bravest of hearts; he'll be ready to talk to you tomorrow, and you must impress him.
I've foreseen him teaching you, but you know I sometimes see the wrong now, so be your best and bravest for him. Ah yes, and I haven't told him you shapeshift, so you can surprise him with that when you need'.
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