Toteninsel

I have sailed dark waters
felt the storms
lash my back
seen monstrous shapes
circle slowly below
lurking in depths
or snuffing the currents
of my life

Now I see the black shore
all foam and rocks and bones
the riptide turning
drawing me in, 
no matter a backpaddle
I can't see if there
is an island beyond
or just great grinding
reefs

All the women of the world

Am I a Gide, to spend
a prodigious blaze of life
prising all of life and
experience out of my
bed of death,
with Ainsi-soit-il?

Not even in the finest
of self-praising daydreams
my reach does not span
so wide or my prose
so fine, so what do I

reflect on for the breaths
before passing? All the
women of the world is all
that fills my eyes, still


Women loved:
women lost (so many!)
women seen just a moment
in the sharpness of their eyes
or the shape of their laugh
women held close
bonded in our hearts
women unseen,
whispers on the wire
women in full fury
righteous or wrong
women remote
as planets untouched


It's no Fruits of the Earth
just the home of
my fleeting moments
of completeness
'Perhaps. At the last moment, to add something again 
... I'm sleepy, it's true;but I do not want to sleep'

Houston

when I feel I've withered
all the gardens around me
ashes on gusts
thrown in my mouth
crumbling bushes
falling around me

then I find
there's a tendril
of green
curling around
my fingers

No!

Terri isn’t your friend

She doesn’t want to be your friend

She doesn’t care that you rescued her

She doesn’t care that you were generous and kind for 18 months

That shit doesn’t matter to her

She doesn’t want to be your friend

She wont be your friend

She isn’t your friend

She doesn’t hate you

She doesn’t like you

She doesn’t think of you

She doesn’t care at all

You don’t matter to her

Terri isn’t your friend

Terri won’t be your friend

Terri will never be your friend

Terri was never your friend

Terri isn’t your friend

The giving hand

When you open your hand
and give them what they need
Shield and protect them
you expect your hand
to get bitten

I didnt expect
my heart
to get ripped out
and thrown away

in absentia

instead of connectedness
I just feel isolation
I stand alone
They say people come and go
it's not true
they just go
I dont know how
to forget their going
fill that absence

It doesnt really matter
how much I howl
for my pain
just another useless
toothless werewolf
in the black plain
you'd think
a lone wolf would
be better at isolation

Last night my soul
was overladen
overflowing with sorrow
I went alone to see what was left of the garden
which you watered